Disappointment

Disappointment is a very real part of every person’s life. We have all felt let down or betrayed by someone. In relationships, the most challenging disappointment comes from those we are the closest to because of the emotional investment. Perhaps you have a goal you are pursuing and have done all that you can do on your end, but the outcome just was not what you expected. Maybe you have a dream that you are still waiting to come to fruition, and your disappointment is with God. Why doesn’t he do something?

Disappointment can breed disillusionment. If we break down the word “disillusion” it means to lose our vision. We “see” something one way only to discover reality is not what we expected. Unmet expectations cause us to lose hope. Our outlook on life or circumstances becomes skewed. This is a very serious and dangerous state and can impact every other area of your life.

I once knew a man who could not handle disappointment. Granted, he encountered multiple events that were disappointing. He grew so bitter and resentful that it took years for him to regain balance emotionally. The anger was so deeply rooted in his heart that he lost sight of God. It would be an accurate vision to picture him raising his fist towards the heavens.   

When I think of disappointment in the Bible, I cannot help but think of the story of Joseph. The betrayal, the mistreatment and false accusations seemed to be his norm for 13 years.  Yet, not once does the Bible say Joseph became bitter at God. Not once does it say he resented God for not advancing him. Not once did he have an angry outburst.

Joseph continued to use his gifts of organization and dream interpretation wherever he was placed. Genesis 39:22 tells us Joseph was put in charge of the prisoners and everything done in the prison. When it was the right time, God used his giftings to create a storage system of preserving grain that would ultimately save the Egyptians and the nations around them, including his family who had betrayed him years prior.

What was going on in Joseph during his years of disappointment? He remained faithful and did his work as unto the Lord. Everything he set his hand to do was blessed. Character was being forged in him that God knew could only happen through the trials. He was on the potter’s wheel being prepared for a special season. In the end, Joseph tells his brothers, “What you meant for evil, God meant for good.” Gen 50:20

As we face our disappointments, we have several choices. We can resist the pain, hold onto unforgiveness, and fight back in our spirit. We can become disillusioned and bitter, trying to make restitution in the flesh. Or we can wave the white flag of surrender to God.

You see, God truly is in control of everything that we face. EVERYTHING. None of our disappointments are catching him off guard. And neither are our responses. Trusting God’s plan means that we trust him because of his character even when we do not understand. God doesn’t owe us explanations, or he would not be God. We must maintain an accurate vision of who God is no matter what we face. We can only do that by developing a deep intimate relationship with him. Sometimes we just need to be very vulnerable and real with God to work through our disappointment.

I am working with a woman who recently experienced great disappointment from people who are in the “church.” This situation impacted her livelihood, living quarters and was an all-out assault on her character. That is great disappointment!

After weeks of sharing with her, I could tell she was deeply wounded and just could not get past it. As I asked the Lord how to help her, all I could see was the need to go before the throne of God together. I invited her into my prayer room, and we got on our knees. I prayed for a while, then invited her to pour out her heart.

In anger, she let it rip. She genuinely had tried to do the right thing, and it backfired on her. She wept and was very honest and candid about being mad at God. God could handle her anger. We stayed in the prayer room for several hours, until we were at the point of worshipping the Lord. Sometimes you just need to do business with God and clear the slate.

This prayer session broke something in her spirit. The three days after this event she had 3 job offers. I could tell she was no longer in emotional pain and was free from the resentment. This was a pivotal time in her life.

I am fully convinced that nothing touches our lives that doesn’t filter first through the mighty hands of God. He gave permission to Satan to sift Job like wheat. God is always working in our lives, even through the disappointments.

“Guard you heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23