Nurturing vs. Hurting
What happens when you spend years nurturing a relationship that is hurting you?
The short answer is that it chokes out your spirit and life and you will lose yourself. The long answer is that you can't see the damage to self by yourself. Because your thoughts are caught up in a spiraling survival mode, you must tap into the wisdom and counsel of others. It is kind of like not being able to see the forest for the trees. When you are so close up to a situation or relationship, your vision is skewed. You cannot have an objective perspective.
Listen to those who love you the most. They can see the reality and how it is impacting you. Friends and family can pick up on the red flags. Mentors and counselors can see right through the complicated mess because of their training. They do this every day ...all day...so trust their input.
Emotional abuse is rampant today. Controlling others is portrayed as "caring." Yet many women stay in these hurting relationships and continue to nurture them. They stay for various reasons. Their faith, and family, may tell them that it is sin or a disgrace to leave. Finances is a big reason women stay. No where to go can be an obstacle. Being so attached to someone, whether they are good or bad for you or to you, is an addiction to another person. It is also called codependent.
All of these characteristics descirbe me and what I dealt with in trying to save my marraige. They are real issues that cannot be resolved quickly. But there is hope for a different life. I am living proof of the healing and restoration that can be found in God. He is a miracle working God who loves you with an everlasting love and He will fight for you.
For more of my story, you can find my book, Secrets of the Soil, on Amazon.
Blessings.
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